  44. Coupling (gòu). Coming to MeetAdvise
If there is only fun in your life – become concerned, if everything flows smoothly - expect trouble; desires which can be met in full - too much temptation. Deals with his conscience never lead to good.
Inital text of I ChingThe Judgement
Coming to Meet. The maiden is powerful. One should not marry such a maiden.
The Image
Under heaven, wind: The image of Coming to Meet. Thus does the prince act when disseminating his commands and proclaiming them to the four quarters of heaven.
- It must be checked with a brake of bronze. Perseverance brings good fortune. If one lets it take its course, one experiences misfortune. Even a lean pig has it in him to rage around.
- There is a fish in the tank. No blame. Does not further guests.
- There is no skin on his thighs, and walking comes hard. If one is mindful of the danger, no great mistake is made.
- No fish in the tank. This leads to misfortune.
- A melon covered with willow leaves. Hidden lines. Then it drops down to one from heaven.
- He comes to meet with his horns. Humiliation. No blame.
Prediction
From the outside – it is time of success in everything. But appearances are often deceptive. The period of activity of dark spirits inside and outside of us has begun. Do not enter into alliance with them and do not go for a compromise – there will be no understanding and the right direction will be lost. Beware of his virtue and do not be fooled. Stop your business for a moment – it is inappropriate for creation.
This hexagram indicates a situation in which the principle of darkness, after
having been eliminated, furtively and unexpectedly obtrudes again from
within and below. Of its own accord the female principle comes to meet the
male. It is an unfavorable and dangerous situation, and we must understand
and promptly prevent the possible consequences.
The hexagram is linked with the fifth month [June-July], because at the
summer solstice the principle of darkness gradually becomes ascendant again.
THE JUDGMENT
The rise of the inferior element is pictured here in the image of a bold girl
who lightly surrenders herself and thus seizes power. This would not be
possible if the strong and light-giving element had not in turn come halfway.
The inferior thing seems so harmless and inviting that a man delights in it; it
looks so small and weak that he imagines he may dally with it and come to
no harm.
The inferior man rises only because the superior man does not regard him
as dangerous and so lends him power. If he were resisted from the fist, he
could never gain influence.
The time of COMING TO MEET is important in still another way.
Although as a general rule the weak should not come to meet the strong,
there are times when this has great significance. When heaven and earth
come to meet each other, all creatures prosper; when a prince and his official
come to meet each other, the world is put in order. It is necessary for
elements predestined to be joined and mutually dependent to come to meet
one another halfway. But the coming together must be free of dishonest
ulterior motives, otherwise harm will result.
THE IMAGE
The situation here resembles that in hexagram 20, Kuan, CONTEMPLATION
(VIEW). In the latter the wind blows over the earth, here it blows under
heaven; in both cases it goes everywhere. There the wind is on the earth and
symbolizes the ruler taking note of the conditions in his kingdom; here the
wind blows from above and symbolizes the influence exercised by the ruler
through his commands. Heaven is far from the things of earth, but it sets
them in motion by means of the wind. The ruler is far form his people, but
he sets them in motion by means of his commands and decrees.
1
If an inferior element has wormed its way in, it must be energetically checked
at once. By consistently checking it, bad effects can be avoided. If it is allowed
to take its course, misfortune is bound to result; the insignificance of that
which creeps in should not be a temptation to underrate it. A pig that is still
young and lean cannot rage around much, but after it has eaten its fill and
become strong, its true nature comes out if it has not previously been curbed.
2
The inferior element is not overcome by violence but is kept under gentle
control. Then nothing evil is to be feared. But care must be taken not to let it
come in contact with those further away, because once free it would unfold its
evil aspects unchecked.
3
There is a temptation to fall in with the evil element offering itself-a very
dangerous situation. Fortunately circumstances prevent this; one would like
to do it, but cannot. This leads to painful indecision in behavior. But if we
gain clear insight into the danger of the situation, we shall at least avoid more
serious mistakes.
4
Insignificant people must be tolerated in order to keep them well disposed.
Then we can make use of them if we should need them. If we become
alienated from them and do not meet them halfway, they turn their backs on
us and are not at our disposal when we need them. But this is our own fault.
5
The melon, like the fish, is a symbol of the principle of darkness. It is sweet
but spoils easily and for this reason is protected with a cover of willow leaves.
This is a situation in which a strong, superior, well-poised man tolerates and
protects the inferiors in his charge. He has the firm lines of order an beauty
within himself but he does not lay stress upon them. He does not bother his
subordinates with outward show or tiresome admonitions but leaves them
quite free, putting his trust in the transforming power of a strong and upright
personality. And behold! Fate is favorable. His inferiors respond to his
influence and fall to his disposition like ripe fruit.
6
When a man has withdrawn from the world, its tumult often becomes
unbearable to him. There are many people who in a noble pride hold
themselves aloof from all that is low and rebuff it brusquely wherever it
comes to meet them. Such persons are reproached for being proud and
distant, but since active duties no longer hold them to the world, this does
not greatly matter. They know how to bear the dislike of the masses with
composure.
Barbara Hejslip interpretationLook at itself from: whether enough you are constrained, tactful, tolerant? Concern attentively to changes in contacts to people and try to estimate their actions is less critical. Hardly it is possible to expect performance of desires and hopes. Be economical. Be internally prepared to that the unexpected events which are not promising to you anything favorable will soon follow.
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Richard Wilhelm's commentary